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To my Bios

Dear Kids,

One day when you are looking through your childhood pictures  and come across this week I wonder what you will think. 

Here is what I hope for you. 

-Sometimes the right choice is the hard choice.  

-When given a choice to care for someone smaller than you, do it.

-Things aren’t always what they seem to the public eye. Especially when it comes to politics and the media. 

-you are worth so much to me that I would risk it all to ensure your safety and fight those that have wronged you. 

-in the end your mom stood up for the 10 year old version of herself. 

-Women can do many things, including change the world globally. 

-Family is about sticking together by any means necessary, even digital dinners.

-People do not know but yet they think they do.  Let them. Then sit back and watch as they learn.

-There are many ways to parent and just because a stereotype exists doesn’t mean it needs to be followed. 

-No one knows what has happened in your own life like yourself. Do not let anyone tell you different.

-A shoe can change your life


What happened Friday Morning?

On Friday Morning I woke up like normal.  I helped get kids off to school.  When I finally got to my phone I instantly realized 2 things.....

1. That I finally opened up about the Luesner family the day before. 

2.  And..... the chief of police likely was watching me and my phone and had been for months (Illegally).... I just had figured out the night before that some of my private phone conversations were being carried beyond my original 

When you grow up with bullies you learn to co-exist with them.  You learn when to avoid them and when they are in a good mood.  We all have bullies in our lives. Bullies aren’t rare.  They come in all shapes and sizes.  They wear many different types of uniforms:  it really sucks when they wear blue.

Upon my realization of how absolutely insane it was to have a conversation about Child Trafficking on a public platform (you live and you learn) I realized how, not only, close to the home this hit me but also close the the heart. 

I know I have disrupted the course of Cape May County.  I did it because I love children and I saw pain.  I did it because I felt you all needed to know that our kids, in other schools beyond woodbine, are having to learn amongst this and it is time for a change. All of our kids deserve better.  Every. Single. One.  

The acceptance of Child Trafficking in our culture needs to stop.  This happened to me in 1991.  I could have spoke up sooner but I needed Matt to tell me I was safe in October to allow my heart to let my story flow. 

I love my children.  I love all of my neighbors.  I love CMCOUNTY but I don’t love children getting hurt at the hands of an adult.  This isn’t healthy for anyone. 

While I am hoping this transition into change is a peaceful one, (I am still praying for the many cops that I am worried about)..... I hope that everyone in Cape May County will be able to be an example in the light that this story will bring. It’s time to circle up.  This problem isn’t just mine anymore. 


Ps Matt Buesing I still would love to talk to you. Can you please call me? Kthxbye 🙂

A letter to the Kids in the Pictures

I only saw you for a moment.  A moment when I was scared and tiny eyes were staring at me, thirsty.  2 grown men were there.  So were you. 

Pictures.  Developed at a local drug store. There you were.  Some naked.  Some looking not alive.  Some who needed diapers and some who you could tell had no mother. 

I am sorry I didn’t come the year before or the year before that or the year before that.  I didn’t realize how mean they were being to all of you. I now know.

I have come to the conclusion that the child pornography that I saw in the Janitor’s Office that day at Woodbine Elementary School very could be any evidence you ever experienced life.  Who knows where you are now.  

So with the horrible memories of seeing those pictures of innocent children being objectified for sex I will remember that none of what is being done to my family is being done in vain. You are real and so are we.  We are human and that is what brings us together. 

I will tell people to be more brave and less unwise.  I will hold my own a little closer and be slower when introducing them to people that may want to hurt them. 

I am not a perfect person or mother.  This world is broken and unwhole.  I will forever remember you as the “children in the pictures” and I will pray for your family no matter where you are. 

Deuteronomy 10:18 –

He executes justice for the orphan and the widow, and shows His love for the alien by giving him food and clothing.

A letter to the 1991 Version of Myself

Dear Beth,

In 1991 someone tried to sell you.  That person’s name is Gary Barber.  He will be your favorite teacher from 1997-1999 while you, unknowingly, learn from him in class. “Mr Barber” was directed to sell you by a teacher, who also was the Mayor of the township. You will overhear he has a habit of selling children. That man’s name is Chuck Luesner.  

If someone cares to look they will find a dusty case file on a shelf that is a federal case that involves you, Elizabeth Norton.  In that file you will find that mid-transaction an investigation started and a plan to keep you safe. 

A childhood friend overheard the plan to sell you and decided to ask a man who was a real estate investor at the time for help.  That man’s name is Donald Trump. 

Your childhood friend, Donald Trump, and Teachers joined together to keep you safe. You have no idea how many people love you.  One day you will know.

It isn’t to far of a jump to tell you that you have been the most expensive child to ever be sold in the state of NJ.  

Your body will be physically safe and no one will lay a hand on you. You will grow up and learn and be a normal child..........

Digitally, your future will be questionable. Grounded in who you are you will know early in age that things online aren’t always what they seem. Mysterious things will happen in highschool that involve the Cape May County Herald and the sale of pictures.  Cameras will watch your body develop and will then capture your pregnant body growing your children.

Time after time your pictures will be sold while not involving you at all. You had no say and due to a contractual agreement you will not know much until you are 40.

The pictures will be used to build face and body recognition software.  The money trail will be there. Evidence all tracked with every. Single. Transaction. 

Eventually, you will grow up and become a writer. Your words will carry with your pictures and you will notice that your face holds something different. 

You will beg and plead to have an investigation to look into this. The police chief on the MTPD is, after all, the son of the former mayor, the man working with the teacher that you appreciated so much....the teacher that exploited you for money. Corruption will be 100% visual from your line of view.  Your family will be overcome with attacks.

The pictures will begin when your school, Middle Township, will put on a play where the 10 year old version of yourself will be dressed as a bride and your childhood friend will be dressed as a groom.  You are 10.  It’s a drama play.  You are assured it’s all pretend but as you get older you will learn some of it is real nightmare. At practice you will hear a lot about the similarities of your case and a case that involves a missing child’s case from the same day, month, and year. You will try to tell your community about this online but your word will be considered “a conspiracy!” You will know better and you will fight for answers for many kids that are missing in your neighborhood as you learn about a nearby town Mayor, William Pickolycky, and his interactions with the Luesner men. 

In 2009 the social media revolution will occur and your community will no longer just rely on the corrupt media for your news. You, the one that was exploited, will be able to tell your own story and publish it yourself for anyone and everyone to read.  

The 39 year old version of you.... just a few months away from being 40.