I was listening to Delilah on the radio on Christmas Eve. I hadn't listened to her in a while but since I realized she drives my teenager crazy "being mushy" I felt compelled to listen. (What? Don't question my motives)
I use to listen to her often as my husband and I drove around town doing absolutely nothing. It was a time in our life where we could just talk, be us, waste gas in the car and have no regrets because we were rich in every sense of the word. We had love. We had almost no bills. We had almost no rules. We had endless gas money. So, we drove ALOT.
It was a fun time.
Times have changed for us and I think Delilah has too. Upon taking a request she practically tried talking a girl out of getting married. (Wait, what?) She asked if her parents were "ok" with this arrangement. She then proceeded to say that some of her friends that got married at the age the caller was had wish they had waited. She said, "They wish they had spread their wings a little!" Nevertheless, she played a song for the couple that had set their wedding date for this June.
The whole conversation had me perplexed. I was 20 when I got married. My husband was 21. If we knew her, Delilah, would have been invited to our wedding. We were big fans. But, we didn't know her so she never made the list.
I wonder now if I would have invited her. Sure, I missed out on some "stuff" choosing marriage at a young age. I missed out on the era to explore clubbing, one night stands, recreational drugs, binge drinking, finishing school with a degree! (that I may or may have not used)
Delilah, what did you mean by spreading her wings? Is she missing the opportunity to pass on sexually transmitted viruses when meeting random guys that would give her different experiences in bed?
Is this what "expanding your wings" means?
My husband and I didn't have the opportunity to "stretch our wings" instead we took flight, tandem, him and I. I regret nothing.
I knew I loved John. I knew John loved me. Young marriage can work. It won't be easy but you won't be doing it alone. I hate to say this.
But,
Dear Caller,
Turn off Delilah and surround yourself with people that will lift you guys up. Find older couples that have been there!.
There has been times of growth for us. This past summer I threw my self into work. One week alone I worked over 50 hours a week. When you live in a resort area the summer is "Tis the season to be working!" I chose work over household chores. {I talked about my summer here.} I hustled.
I learned some lessons this summer. In the lessons there was independent growth. Independent growth can happen in marriage. People tend to think that on your graduation day you are ready for life. Not so. The learning never stops. The growing never stops. The mistakes never stop. The climb continues well past the tassel has been turned to the other side, the gown has been pushed to the back of the closet and the diploma has been hung on the wall.
The 2016 summer changed me for the better and now the union of my husband and I are growing up together again. Our hair is changing colors. Our health is presenting obstacles and we approach them together. I lean on him. I am here for him to lean on me. Lean on each other and know that there are others that are excited that you are taking flight together. So, you are young. So, was I. Your marriage may stick. It may not but no matter what you are on an adventure that will help shape you to be the person you were meant to be.
So, Caller to Delilah, Congratulations!
I am thrilled for you. I wish for you patience with each other, understanding for each other, wisdom to realize love when it is presented, and remembrance of the vows you are about to make through the tough times, the ugly times, and the hardest of hard times. It is the promises that will get you through. Here is a song that I am playing for you.
I Will Be Here (Live) - Steven Curtis Chapman
If you can not view the video here is a direct link.
Love,
Me(Elizabeth) -not Delilah
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